


A beautiful game

by FaerieChild



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaerieChild/pseuds/FaerieChild
Summary: In which it turns out Bond supports a football team and some of his colleagues decided to have a little fun with it.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 31





	A beautiful game

They were sitting around in Q Branch, Q and Tanner, around lunch time on Monday morning. Tanner had popped down for a visit as he liked to do from time to time if only to drag Q away from his work and feed him. Tanner has sent out for takeaway from the delicious new Thai place and he was pleased when Q started making approving noises through a mouth absolutely stuffed with food.

Somewhere across the other side of the room, 007 was ignoring them. At least, that was the only explanation Tanner had.

“What is he doing?”

“Ignore him, he’s just being sore about the football scores.”

“Bond doesn’t follow football,” Tanner frowned and looked up from the divinely lemongrass flavoured dish he was eating to take a long look at the Double-0. It was a testament to Bond’s morose state that the agent didn’t so much as look up from the tablet screen he was looking at.

“But what is he _doing_?” Tanner asked again.

“What every fan does when they lose, surely? Finding every piece of analysis he can, going over the match, over every referee’s call...”

“Gathering intelligence you mean,” Tanner took a long drink from his bottle of water. “I’ll be honest, I never saw Bond as a football man.”

“Truth be told he used to be pretty low key until Eve found out.”  
  
“I can imagine,” Tanner knew Eve well enough to know she didn’t give much mercy with things like rivalry, or competitiveness.  
  
They were interrupted by Bond jumping out of his seat and screaming at the tablet.  
  
Q waved his fork. “He’s done that every time he watched that clip.”  
  
“The Chelsea game from the weekend?” Tanner nodded, “Clear red card. Bond’s on a hiding to nothing there.”  
  
Q stopped and blinked heavily. “You...you think Bond supports Chelsea?”  
  
“Why wouldn’t he?” Tanner shrugged. “Lived there for years, hasn’t he? What are you going to tell me supports The Gunners cause I don’t believe it. Or some random team like Burnley. Please! And its not like there’s anyone up in Scotland for him to support. I’m pretty sure Skyfall doesn’t have a football team..” Tanner tailed off as a shadow fell over his lunch. He looked up to find Bond hovering over his shoulder.  
  
Bond cleared his throat, and adjusted his cufflinks. “Fort William are a perfectly respectable team to support. They do a lot of community and youth work. And in the circumstances I think its understandable that they had a hard time at the weekend. Just so we’re clear.”  
  
Tanner’s mind stalled. Who the hell were Fort William? “Right. Fort William. Course.” He waited until Bond had resumed his seat on the other side of the room. “Q who the hell are Fort William?”  
  
“The worst team in the Highland League.”  
  
“I HEARD THAT!” Bond protested from across the room.  
  
“The Highlands...wait Fort William in Scotland?”  
  
“His local childhood team, apparently. Or as local as anywhere can be in the Scottish highlands. Their nearest rivals live 90 miles away in Inverness. As it happens, Eve’s new team.” Q gave Tanner a knowing look and settled in to eating his lunch.  
  
Tanner groaned. The only thing that was worse that the ongoing never-ending chat over the English Premier League was the petty, childish highly competitive nature of passionate lower-leagues fans. “Please tell me this isn’t going anywhere?”  
  
“I probably shouldn’t tell you Eve spent most of the morning practicing how to pronounce _Clachnacuddin,_ then?”

Tanner pushed his chair back. “I need to tell M.”

As if summoned by the very mention of his name, Mallory himself walked in wearing a football strip. “No need. I am already full appraised of the situation. Eve brought me up to speed and may I just say, do you have any idea the sort of strings I had to pull to get a Buckie Thistle shirt in London?”  
  
“Buckie Thistle, Sir?” Tanner parroted M’s words back with a hint of concern in his voice.  
  
“I believe Brora Rangers are still available if you feel like joining in? Q?”  
  
Q peeled up his sweater to reveal a football shirt being worn over his shirt and tie. “Thought I’d go for Inverurie myself,” Q plucked the shirt away from his torso to inspect it and patted it back down with a satisfied smile.

Tanner cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “Sir…!”  
  
Mallory winked – actually winked – at Tanner. “Nothing like a bit of fun to help morale.” M turned to look at Bond, sitting on his own, muttering deadly threats at the screen under his voice. “ They really are the worst football team in the highlands,” Mallory commiserated. “Which of course for us means an unrivalled opportunity to troll Bond’ s unfortunate taste in football teams,” M smiled a dark and twisted smile.  
  
Realisation fell across Tanner’s face as he watched Bond get more and more wound up by the referee’s calls.

“ _It was fucking foul you little-”  
  
“_Brora Rangers you said, Sir?” Tanner said with a sudden burst of enthusiasm.  
  
M patted Tanner’s shoulder. “That’s the spirit.”  
  
At his desk, Q put on a mask of mild-mannered innocence and got back to work as M and Tanner walked out together. “Now, we just need to find people to support Nairn, Forres...”  
  
Q glanced over at Bond, slightly concerned for the welfare of the referee.  
  
“They’re a perfectly respectable team!” Bond muttered sourly. “And if bloody Eve Moneypenny thinks she can...well we’re playing _Clachnacuddin_ in a fortnight and then we’ll see!”  
  
Q bit his lip and reminded himself to check the football scores.


End file.
